Well it's the most wonderful time of the year, a sentiment I never quite agreed with due to the lack of baseball. Time to help your loved ones, acquaintances, and Secret Santas show off their Cubs pride with my picks for best Cubs merchandise. I have no particular training in art or fashion design, but my ex-wife did make me sit through Project Runway quite a few times. Therefore, I feel qualified to use my nearsighted eye to tell you what to buy.
I'm not an avid collector or merchandise guy either, but I was honestly overwhelmed with the amount of cool Cubs trinkets and seemingly well designed gifts available for under $30. This is especially true if you have to give gifts to people you don't know very well, but at least you know they like the Cubs. Plus, with every dollar you give the Cubs, fans can help buy players by putting cash in the coffers of the team. Do your part and buy stuff that says Cubs on it!
Just FYI. This is not an advertisement for the Cubs store. BCB and I do not get paid for recommending Cubs merchandise. Nor do we get paid for ridiculing their clearance rack, which I do far more often. I also have no idea what their Black Friday sale will be as I write this, but I do now! 30% off orders or $99, 25% off orders over $50, and 20% off all orders, with free shipping if you spend $49. Plus, you get a free MLB TV Premium subscription with any order that expires April 30th and begins December 2nd. Keep in mind, that yesterday, Thanksgiving, MLB offered 30% off sitewide and free shipping. The only "better deal" about it is the MLB TV, which I've already paid for through February. Alas, there are still a few things I'm going to buy on the site today.
However, for this article, I've limited my merch search to gifts in my price range (under $30), and for family and friends I would actually give these gifts to, or in some cases, wish someone would give them to me. Here's a few pics of Cubs stuff I liked, but you should look at the Cubs store for yourself. There are a many choices and everyone likes different things. Here are my favorites.
My father, RIP, would have worn this shirt daily and spilled so much wine, ice cream, and peanut butter on it, that I would need to buy him a new one every Xmas.
For Mom (or any woman for that matter)
If there's one thing I know about women, it's that they love stealing my slippers. Get her a pair all her own for only eight bucks! (but only if she has small or giant feet). I'd give these to my sisters, mom or girlfriend, but I think I got everyone slippers last year. I don't remember!!
Hot Pink Cubs Purse
OK. I've played a bunch of gigs at burlesque shows, so I'm a sucker for sequins. But for your purse loving Cubs fan, this is the perfect accessory satchel to bring to the ballgame. I'd give these to my eight- and nine-year-old nieces.
For the cellphone-aholic in your life. (Me)
You can find 'em cheaper and more powerful, but this one says "Cubs". I want this.
For your Tailgater or Little League watcher.
I can see giving this to my brother's neighbor Paul for Hanukkah. He's the kind of guy who watches the game in the garage, chomping on a big cigar with three fingers of scotch, saying things like "bada bing, bada boom." I can see him sitting in this chair in the parking lot of Miller Park before a Sunday Cubs sweep over the Brewers.
For the saucy ladies
Cheetah print Cubs flip flops for $17? You had me at Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Definitely would love to see my girl Nicole rockin' these.
Gift for people who like this kinda thing.
It's tacky, moderately humorous, and probably perfect for someone in your life. Brother in Law all the way.
For the kids
84 pieces of Cubs Lego-style toys. Unfortunately, if the picture on the right is any indication, about half the pieces are the field itself. I can see getting this present for eight-year-old me. But I probably would have only played with it a few times.
For older kids (or small-wristed adults) This sweet racing stripe Cubs watch!
This was in the kids section but I also know many adults, including me, that would proudly wear this vibrant timepiece. I'd buy this for my nephew who's six. I really love this watch!
Buy a kid his first glove for only $8!
This glove is probably a piece of junk at eight dollars, but the kids hand is gonna outgrow the glove in a year anyway. Think of the possibilities!! If the kid ends up being a Major Leaguer, you can say you gave them their first glove! I'd give this to a 3-to-6-year-old.
Your dog has no idea what holidays or the Cubs are, except for that there seems to be extra turkey in the house and sometimes these crazy humans scream at the TV (during Cubs games). Yet we dress them in Santa hats for family photos and buy them presents to celebrate the shortest day of the year, candles that lasted a really long time, and the author of the worlds best selling book's birthday. Let's be honest, this is really a gift for you to control your dog better. As a former dog owner, these harnesses are great for small and medium dogs. My big dog didn't like it. My advice, get a size up. $20 is a great price for a harness too. Plus it says Cubs on it!
It's probably triple the cost of actual Twister, but this could be your only chance to play Twister on Wrigley Field. Unless Cubs fans try to break the Guinness record of largest playable Twister board achieved by putting 1200 Twister boards together, set in Arlington, Texas this past September 15. Fun for the whole family, but 1201 of them will run you over $36,000.
These brands are for steaks, not humans! I repeat! Do not buy this brand if you had any passing inkling of branding yourself or others with this brand when you saw this brand. Do not consume alcoholic beverages and watch Cubs games in presence of the Cubs brand, as proximity to said Cubs brand may result in "accidental" branding. Buy at your own risk!
For the guitarist in your life
This is a bad deal for guitar picks and I would never buy them for myself, but if someone gave them to me, I would be thrilled! Stocking stuffer for the guitar player Cubs fan!
Well, those are my affordable favorites, what are yours? Please share in the comments!
I've also included some honorable mentions below. Happy Shopping and Go Cubs!
For the Cubs fan with a blinged-up hot ride and 20-inch rims!
For a boy's bedroom or mancave.
For the barnyard Cubs tree.
For the techie.
For the hipster or old man.
For the guy who just lost his wallet.
For the person who always drops their phone.
For the young lady who you'd like to turn her wrist green.
For the French Cubs fan.
For the woman with a Cubs proud left leg.
For a baby's indoctrination into Cubs fandom.
To honor the fan provider in your life.
For someone who needs to match their ugly Cubs sweater.
For the rocker chick.
For the Tom Cruise wannabe circa "Risky Business"
For your drunk uncle.
For your weird 15-year-old nephew who doesn't talk much.