"Lackey": A John Lackey Cubs Song Parody

Reactions to the Cubs' signing of John Lackey on Friday were mixed. Some fans had their hearts set on David Price, Johnny Cueto, Zack Greinke, or Jeff Samardzija. Others lamented Lackey's 37 years of age, joking that he was only signed to give Jon Lester a drinking buddy and David Ross a guy to discuss life insurance plans with. And others were more optimistic, hoping Lackey's playoff experience would help the Cubs down the stretch. Plus, it never hurts to steal a player from the Cardinals.

For me, I take a wait-and-see approach. If he's as good as he was last year with the Cardinals, the Cubs are golden. If he's not, well, there's always Clayton Richard and Travis Wood to pick up the slack. Either way, welcome to Chicago.

It won't be easy to switch allegiances to a man who I so recently booed and is rumored to be a not very nice man. But you'll have my cheers John, and I look forward to writing more songs about your amazing pitching throughout the year. But this parody details Cubs fans mixed feelings about you.

The 2015 Cubs Canon is complete and you can listen to all the songs from last season here.

Now it's time for the first song from the 2016 Cubs Canon.... "Lackey"

(lyrics are posted below the video)

Lackey

The Cubs signed Lackey only yesterday

The Cardinals let him get away

Gonna wear Cubby blue in the pennant race

Makes 'em scared with his mean stare and his angry face

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you feel kinda wary and confused

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think he’ll fill Edwin Jackson’s shoes

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you thought he wasn’t who they would choose

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think that he’ll remember our boo’s

Theo Epstein wanted Lackey back

(Yeah), When he wore Red Sox upon his hat

(Yeah), For 32 million he was signed

(Yeah), And in two more years, he’s 39

Old guy.

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you feel like they shoulda got David Price

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you feel like Greinke woulda been nice

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you know what Samardzija’s gonna do

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you want Cueto and Shelby Miller too

Lackey, mows em down

Eats innings, mows em down

He’s a bad guy Lackey, mows em down

Eats innings, mows em down

I said he mows em down

Eats innings, mows em down

He’s a bad guy Lackey, mows em down

Eats innings, mows em down

He's bad

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you feel that Lackey is worth the cost

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think he’s as old as David Ross

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think Lackey can wear Cubbie Blue

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along for the man who hopefully will come through.

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you feel kinda wary and confused

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think he’ll fill Edwin Jackson’s shoes

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you thought he wasn’t who they would choose

Cause he’s John Lackey

Clap along if you think that he’ll remember our boo’s