MLB Bullets Would Rather Not Be In Philadelphia

I forgot to mention last time that Barry Zito signed a minor league deal with the Athletics. Will you forgive me? Will Barry?

• I just can't quit you. Probably the best article of the past two days is J.R. Moehringer's longform piece in ESPN the Magazine on "The Education of Alex Rodriguez." It's an in-depth look at Rodriguez's suspension and how he coped. Or didn't cope, as the case may be. Mostly sympathetic, but not entirely. Very well worth your time.
• Andy Pettitte may have also taken PEDs, but according to him, Pettitte didn't do it to improve his performance. I wish I knew it was that easy. I'd like to admit, yes, I did rob that bank. But I didn't do it for the money.
• Later today, MLB is expected to announce three steps to speed up the pace of play for 2015. None are radical but all are easily doable.
• Cole Hamels has a problem. He wants to win. And he said "I know it's not going to happen" in Philadelphia. So if you would, pretty please, trade him, that would be great.
• Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. reiterated that Hamels would be their Opening Day starter. He also said he wasn't bothered by what Hamels said.
• Will Leitch thinks it would be better for the Phillies and for their fans if Hamels pitched somewhere else.
• Jeff Sullivan examines the rumored package that the Padres offered for Hamels and while he says it wasn't a bad offer, the Phillies were probably right to turn it down.
• Cliff Lee was asked whether he wanted to be traded too. So he asked his Magic 8-Ball and it said "very doubtful." Really. I'm not making that up. He did a whole press conference with a Magic 8-Ball.
• This winter his GM told Ryan Howard they'd be "better off without him." Now his manager, Ryne Sandberg, said Howard is his first baseman going into 2015.
• After experiencing "discomfort" during a physical, Giants manager Bruce Bochy was admitted to a local hospital where he had a heart procedure done. He is expected to be released today, but probably won't be back to work for a few days.
• The Rangers Jurickson Profar had shoulder surgery again and could miss his second straight season. Just two years ago, he was the top prospect in baseball.
• Refilling their prospect ranks, the Rangers signed the brother of second baseman Rougned Odor, who is also named Rougned Odor.
• You all did see that Kris Bryant was named the top prospect in baseball again, right? In any case, Baseball America ranked all 21 of their "top prospects" from the past 25 years on the basis of their major league career. (Some players were named the top prospect twice, that's why there aren't 25 players.) They weren't all good, although all but one at least reached the majors.
• There has been a lot of talk lately about how hard it is to make deals because teams are overvaluing prospects who are inherently risky. Dave Cameron doesn't think that teams are overvaluing prospects so much as they are realizing how risky veterans are.
• Pablo Sandoval responded to those criticizing his weight by saying "Let them talk" and he'd let his bat and his glove to the talking.
• Joon Lee thinks Sandoval's weight is not a big deal.
• David Schoenfield thinks Sandoval's weight is a big deal. Blog fight!
• I really hate these "best shape of his life" stories from this time of year and generally avoid them. Usually they're just crap. But man, Jesus Montero is in the best shape of his life. No more ice cream sandwiches in Boise for him.
• Johnny Cueto wants to sign an extension with the Reds before Opening Day. The Reds would like to find $150 million in the cushions of their couches.
• Jon Heyman breaks down the teams who are the most likely to land Cuban infielder Yoan Moncada. It's mostly the usual names, but Heyman does list the Milwaukee Brewers as the surprise dark horse candidate.
• A.J. Burnett took a pay cut of over $4 million because he wanted to end his career with the Pirates.
• The Orioles are close to signing Everth Cabrera.
• C.J. Nitkowski examines the debate about going to a six-man starting rotation.
• One of my least favorite Cubs of all time, Lenny Harris, is the new assistant hitting coach for the Marlins.
• The Red Sox are offering free tickets to Bostonians who shovel out the city's fire hydrants.
• Trevor Bauer built a photo-taking drone during his vacation. What did you do?
• Jayson Werth talks about his time in the slammer. I'd make jokes about battling the sadistic warden with a improvised shiv and stuff like that, but Werth took his time in jail seriously so I guess I should too.
• Seriously. Danny Espinosa needs help. He does look ready to suit up for the Washington Nationals of the 1880s, however.
• Joe Posnanski talks about what he learned playing Strat-O-Matic. By the way, I know exactly what he's talking about with Matt Alexander. I had a friend who played the 1979 Matt Alexander or the 1978 Mickey Klutts every game of Statis-Pro Baseball.
• Getting back to A-Rod, Grant Brisbee found some handwritten apology notes written by other players.
• Ben Lindbergh takes a look at those "Thank you, fans" ads from departing ballplayers and ranks them. If Andrew Heaney had only gone that extra mile and taken out an ad thanking Dodgers fans, he'd have won in a landslide.
• And finally, David Wells went to the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary after party, and Jay-Z asked him about his bloody sock. Or was that Kanye West who asked him that?

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.