MLB Bullets Is Ready To Head North

So this should be one dinger of a week. I hope I can jack one out of the park for you today. I certainly hope it doesn't bomb.

• As we come to the end of spring training, Evan Grant argues that spring training is "terribly, horribly, utterly broken." But never fear, he does have some ideas for fixing it. I'd like to get all snarky, but they're actually some pretty solid suggestions.
• In a victory for the no-fun police, the AP has issued new style guidelines that ban the use of "dingers", "jacks" and "bombs" to describe home runs. As Deadspin points out, they don't say anything about "taters." I guess it's only a matter of time.
• Tim Healy has some suggestions for new synonyms for home runs. Personally, I like "Fig," because it's short and I like figs, but "Honkball" is always great. Maybe just a "honker."
• Can't go a full column in spring training without a Tommy John surgery (now an AP approved term!) mention. Jon Heyman talked to four baseball scouts and they all expect that Brady Aiken will still be a first-round pick this June, despite having undergone Tommy John surgery.
• Brian Kenny thinks Aiken's surgery shows that the Astros didn't deserve to be vilified last summer for their handling of Aiken's contract negotiations. I'd argue that it wasn't so much the Astros caution that they were roasted for as much as it was the way they went about negotiations, especially in regards to Jacob Nix. But I guess there was some of both.
• Why should pitchers have all the fun. Red Sox catcher Christian Vazquez her the sentence that no ballplayer ever wants to hear: "Go see Dr. James Andrews." It sounds like Tommy John is likely for Vasquez.
• Vasquez's injury opens up an opportunity for top Red Sox prospect Blake Swihart.
• Rob Arthur notes that despite all the Tommy John surgery, things could be worse. Shoulder injuries are way down, and shoulder injuries are worse than elbow injuries.
• Red Sox closer Koji Uehara is dealing with a hamstring issue and probably won't be ready for Opening Day.
• Richard Justice tells David Ortiz to stop talking about PEDs.
• Craig Calcaterra wonders if David Ortiz admitted to more than he probably wanted to in the Player's Tribune article he wrote.
• The trade winds rumors around Allen Craig are getting stronger.
• Sad news. Mariners prospect Victor Sanchez succumbed to the injuries he suffered when he was hit by a boat in his native Venezuela. Sanchez was only 20 years old.
• St. Petersburg mayor Rick Kriseman has renewed his efforts to get the city council to approve a deal with the Rays that would allow the team to search for a new stadium anywhere in the Tampa Bay area.
• Former Cub James Russell was released by the Braves.
• The Nationals have a tough decision to make about whether to keep Dan Uggla. Uggla has had a strong spring training, but he has said that he's not interested in a reserve role and he does have an opt-out clause in his contract.
• After Twins pitcher Mike Pelfrey was demoted to the bullpen, he asked to be traded. Later he said never mind and that he would go to the bullpen.
• The White Sox' bullpen is a possible weak spot for the team.
• Jerry Crasnick talks to Jason Heyward about playing for the Cardinals this season.
• August Fagerstrom explains why it's too early (and probably inaccurate anyway) to label Bryce Harper a "bust."
• However, Rob Neyer doesn't think that a hot spring training gives any more reason for optimism for the career of Royals prospect Bubba Starling.
• Most fans are aware that MLB lowered the mound and tinkered with the strike zone after the 1968 "Year of the Pitcher." Zachary Levine looks at some other ideas that were proposed and experimented with at the minor league level that year. Kind of like what they're doing today.
• Ichiro Suzuki compared being a free agent to being a puppy in a pet shop. How much is that Japanese outfielder in the window?
• Christina Kahrl sings the praises of Jose Altuve.
• Members of the United Food and Commercial Workers union are protesting sub-minimum wages for minor league ballplayers during Grapefruit League games.
• Marcus Stroman is out for the season with a torn ACL, so he's putting his lost season to good use. He's going back to college to finish his degree. Good for him.
• Cory Hahn was the Arizona State ballplayer paralyzed in an on-field collision. Now he's making his way as a member of the Diamondbacks scouting department.
• Justin Verlander took a selfie with an unsuspecting young fan.
• Miguel Cabrera plays for the Tigers, but maybe he should be a Pirate instead. Because he stole the keys to the Phillie Phanatic's ATV.
• Jonathan Lucroy's bat is on fire! Literally.
• The MLS team Sporting KC played their first game at Yankee Stadium which they won, 1-0 over NYCFC. So if you're three guys from Kansas City on the field at Yankee Stadium for the first time, what would you do? Maybe you'd recreate the George Brett Pine Tar incident.
• Joe Posnanski has the story of how Bobby Bragan overcame his bigotry and developed a close friendship and appreciation for Jackie Robinson.
• And finally, Dan Epstein takes a listen to the Jonathan Richman song, "Walter Johnson," which is the greatest song ever written about a Washington Senators pitcher. It's also just a great overlooked baseball song. I saw Richman live three times in the nineties, and he sang "Walter Johnson" in two of those concerts. It got a strong, positive reaction from the crowd both times. Not a strong as "Pablo Picasso" or "Roadrunner" (The greatest song about Rock 'n' Roll ever. Period.), but a pretty positive one.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.