I was sitting here nursing the off-day blues by preparing myself logistically for my comedy band Bad Teenage Moustache's last leg of my "Cubs Game and a Gig Tour" out west, when it occurred to me that the Cubs have a chance to win the World Series this year. In fact, even though most pundits predict the ultimate baseball crown is a few years away for the Cubs, I feel our best shot might be now. You know, before the pressures of prediction and expectation weigh heavily on the Cubs' handsome youngsters. But if the Cubs do win it all this year, what will the victory song be?
I wept in 1989 when the Cubs clinched the NL East to Munchener Freiheit's "Keeping the Dream Alive," a one hit wonder that was used again in 2003. Although the lyrics wistfully state: "The hopes we had were much too high, way out of reach but we had to try." Not exactly "We are the Champions". Maybe they should use Freiheit's "Liebe Auf Den Ersten Blick" or "Love at First Sight," which captures in German how most women felt when they first saw Kris Bryant. Leave it to the Cubs to use an obscure German band's one hit as their winning anthem.
If the Cubs had a special 1998 retrospective victory song in 1998, I don't remember what it is. And 2007 gave us Eddie Vedder's "All the Way," which was used again during the 2008 campaign. Yet still, the lyrics state: "Someday we'll go all the way." Not, "we just went all the way", "Cubs are Champions", or "vengeance is ours!" Just that "someday" it will happen. Might I add "someday we'll go all the way" has an implicit double entendre and may be inappropriate in certain situations.
So what should the Cubs World Series Victory song be?
There's Joe Esposito's, "You're the Best," which perfectly showcase the "classic 80's montage" in Karate Kid. Yet the song was recorded before most of this 2015 Cubs team was even born.
Santana's "Winning" seems more like a song to keep a winning streak alive as opposed winning the World Series. Way too tame.
Rush's "One Little Victory" isn't very sing-a-longable and "We Are The Champions" is totally overdone.
I would love to hear your suggestions in the comments for what your ideal Cubs Victory Songs are, but I'd also like to propose that it's possible the perfect victory song is not yet written.
Recently, I was hired to write a custom song for BCB reader Rhett Ryan's parents' 50th anniversary, entitled "Barb and Bill" and I was reminded that with enough inspiration, I can write a song about just about anything. I've written about backup catcher John Baker's only career win in "The Night the Backup Catcher Got the Win". I sang about the fate of our old unofficial mascot Billy Cub, and welcomed Jon Lester to the team with "Lesterday". Plus, I entered the BCB inspired "Let's Go Cubs" into song contests for the Tribune and WGN.
So I had an idea that can both inspire the Cubs World Series Victory Song, and also help fund this last leg of my "Cubs Game and a Gig Tour".
I've already blown through my and my ex-wives' frequent flyer miles, I've sold two club box seats I won at a Kerry Wood Foundation charity event when my friend Steve Gerstung threw out the first pitch. I've rented out my apartment on Airbnb. And I've booked a few gigs that should bring in enough gas money to provide a couple nights at a one-star motel and some Subway sandwiches to help pay for this "Cubs Game and a Gig Tour."
I sparingly use crowd funding sites like "Go Fund Me" or "Kickstarter," where artists of all stripes beg you to help them keep their dreams of a life on the stage alive. Such as last winter, when I received generous help from BCB readers to go on a "Sordid Travels of a Cubs Fan's Baseball Tour" of the Dominican Republic with Koco Loco. We could never have gotten into the Cubs Dominican training facility without your financial help which paid for about half of the adventure. Now I have another proposition for you dear readers, one in which I work for all of you.
To help pay for some of Bad Teenage Moustache's "Cubs Game and a Gig Tour" next week, where my fearless keyboard player Gary and I will be rocking the left coast from San Luis Obispo, to Santa Cruz, to San Francisco, then back to LA, playing four gigs and seeing five Cubs baseball games, I thought of a way to sing for my supper and create a brand new album of Cubs songs crowd sourced and produced by you!
I will write a song about anything Cubs related for $25 a song. Want to hear a remixed club song of Lee Elia's 1983 tirade (explicit)? $25. How about a song about Andre Dawson's awesome 80's Jheri-curl hair? $25. Do you want to hear a Chris Denorfia parody set to the tune of Laura Brannigan's "Gloria"? $25. A song that tells Clark the Cub to put on pants? $25. A song about the Cubs' walkoff bubblegum bucket hat? $25.
I will then compile all of these Cubs songs together, along with a new original Cubs World Series Championship Victory Song, and release it free to the masses on Soundcloud and Bandcamp before the end of the regular season, just in time for the Cubs push to the playoffs.
If you've got $1 or $1,000,000, I'll list you as a producer of this crowd-sourced Cubs album, and you will know you are funding a couple of Cubs maniacs' musical fandom as we cheer the nail in the coffin of the Giants season while playing comedy rock.
Here's your chance to be the Tommy Mottola of Cubs fan song producers. You'll help write a Cubs 2015 World Championship Song and help my band drive our rented economy car to one-star hotels, gigs, and Cubs games. If it all works out, I'll even throw an album celebration victory party at a bar in Chicago where Bad Teenage Moustache will perform your songs live!
Lastly, for every dollar you support this project with, you will be given one chance to win my still shrink wrapped "Chicago Whales Jersey," which I snagged this year before the game against the Royals was called due to rain. So. $25 gets you 25 chances to win the Jersey. Plus, you can commission a brand new original Cubs song of your very own!
So, please support the "Cubs Game and a Gig Tour" and produce this Cubs record. And if f you're out west, come see Bad Teenage Moustache next week. Our gigs are linked in the cities above.
I'll promise to do my very best to support the Cubs through song in the home stretch of this magical 2015 season. As Munchener Freiheit sang back in the day, "The game will never be over, because we're keeping the dream alive."
Or if you think I'm a silly vagabond and wish I would just die already, I have a solution for you too....