MLB Bullets Has Winners And Losers

See if you can pick out the theme of today's column. It's tough. Only those who are exceptionally observant will be able to figure it out.

• The trade deadline has passed. Jon Heyman lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Michael Baumann lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Craig Calcaterra lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Jeff Passan lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Mike Bates lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. David Schoenfield lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Cliff Corcoran lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Bob Nightengale lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Grant Brisbee lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Michael Silverman lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Barry Svrluga lists his winners and losers.
• The trade deadline has passed. Brian Kenny lists his winners. Mr. Big Shot MLB Network can only be bothered to do half his job.
• The trade deadline has passed. Will Leitch assess where every major league team stands now. Mr. Cardinals fan can't even get half of it right.
• The trade deadline has passed. DJ Gallo explains why all the "winners" at the trade deadline are actually all "losers."
• The one thing all these people can agree on is that the Padres are "losers." (Except maybe Gallo. Maybe that if the winners are losers then the losers are winners? It's not clear. And it's making my head hurt.) But anyway, Jayson Stark sums up what most inside the game are asking: Why didn't the Padres do anything (besides get Marc Rzepczynski)? Stark doesn't think Padres GM AJ Preller understands how the market works.
• Ken Rosenthal is even harsher on the Padres. He says they deserve the scorn they are getting and he calls them a team with no plan and no solution.
• Jonah Keri takes on four stories from the trade deadline and one of them is "what the hell are the Padres doing?" (One is the Cubs getting Dan Haren, too.)
• One sign that the Padres may not understand how the market works is that Preller reportedly asked for Paul Goldschmidt in return for Craig Kimbrel. (I have read that Preller has said it was a joke. But Preller also said he thinks the Padres can still contend this season. Preller has a weird sense of humor.)
• Diamondbacks GM Dave Stewart said he'd have to be taking drugs to trade Goldschmidt. Also, that he doesn't get Preller's sense of humor.
• A lot of people have called the Cardinals losers, but Rob Neyer defends their moves.
• Ken Rosenthal notes that the Dodgers didn't land a big name because they were only willing to sacrifice money and not prospects. They've got a lot of both, though.
• After almost being traded to Milwaukee, Mets pitcher Zack Wheeler called GM Sandy Alderson and told him he wanted to remain a Met.
• Jeff Sullivan breaks down the two David Price deadline trades and thinks the Tigers actually turned a profit on them.
• Craig Calcaterra reminds us that trades can still happen in August.
• Jerry Crasnick looks at which players could be moved this month.
• There was a lot of violence in the game on Sunday. Benches cleared in the Reds-Pirates game after Brandon Phillips was hit by a pitch.
• And then the benches cleared in the Blue Jays-Royals game after several players were hit by pitches, including Josh Donaldson.
• Royals pitcher Edinson Volquez called Donaldson "a little baby" and Blue Jays slugger Jose Bautista said he lost all respect for Ned Yost. You mean you once had respect for Ned Yost?
• The Mets beat the Nationals to move into a tie for first place. Adam Rubin says Citi Field is rocking like Shea Stadium for the first time ever.
• Red Sox President Larry Lucchino is stepping down. He's demanding Anthony Rizzo from the Cubs as a retirement present.
• The Rays sent Matt Moore down to the minors.
• And Rays outfielder Steven Souza will miss the next 4 to 6 weeks with a fractured hand.
• Maybe more. Giancarlo Stanton says his recovery from a fractured wrist is going slower than expected.
• C.J. Wilson will miss the rest of the season after surgery to remove bone spurs from his elbow.
• Paul Sullivan examines the debate about extending the screens at major league stadiums and what the situations are for the Cubs and White Sox.
• Grant Brisbee remembers the time 25 years ago that Andy Hawkins threw a no-hitter and still lost 4-0. (And yes, Grant knows that MLB no longer considers it a no-hitter. He still does.)
• Brad Lefton profiles Shohei Ohtani, the ace Japanese pitcher who plays in the outfield or serves as a DH on days he doesn't pitch. And yes, Ohtani will come to MLB eventually.
• A profile of the "sound guy" at Citi Field and the work that goes into getting that entrance music for players just right.
• And finally, if you want to laugh or just cringe, Dan McQuade has the "ten most ridiculous, gonzo, nightmare-inducing baseball player ads of all time."

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.