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‘Twas The Night Before Cub Christmas

An annual affront to Clement Clarke Moore. (A day early this year, since Christmas Eve is a Saturday.)

‘Twas the night before Cub Christmas, and I can’t go faster:
Not a person was stirring, not even Len Kasper.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Theo & Jed soon would be there.

The Cubs and their fans celebrated in Cleveland,
Then their World Series trophy toured all the land.
Kris Bryant’s MVP added to his reputation,
He and his fiancee soon will marry — more jubilation!

Then out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I ran into the ballpark to see what was the matter.
Up to the bleachers I flew like a flash,
The “W” flag’s still flying -- that's no balderdash.

The walls bore chalk messages of love and victory
The Cubs took photos, which soon we should see.
And then what should appear, as if in a dream:
A blue-and-white sleigh carrying a baseball team!

With a magical sleigh driver, so sure to gladden,
I knew right away it must be Joe Maddon.
Swifter than Schwarber’s bat speed the players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now, Bryant! Now, Rizzo!
Now, Addy and Javy!
On, Zobrist! On, Heyward!
On Willson and Miggy!

Hit those balls strong!
Hit 'em over the wall!
We'll play 'em all hard
And again win it all!"

The brown leaves that fall from the ivy walls die,
When they start to grow, Hendricks’ changeup will fly.
Wrigley's stripped steel now looks like a fright,
But it will all be pretty on Opening Night.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw two intent faces
Planning, they were, on future pennant races.
And just as I went to look and was turning around,
Onto the field Jed & Theo came, with two bounds.

They were all dressed in chinos and polo shirts,
And they brought some who'll play on the Wrigley Field dirt.
A bundle of players they had flung on the roster,
In hopes that none of them would be an impostor.

"I brought you Wade Davis," Theo said with a smile.
"Jon Jay and Uehara, who will play with style."
"Here is Brian Duensing, whose left hand can throw!"
Will Montgomery be great? We do not yet know.

Will Leathersich and Caleb Smith turn into good Cubs?
Or will they forever be known just as scrubs?
Candelario and Happ: what will they become?
Will they turn into good hitters? Or just two more bums?

Albert Almora’s fielding will surely have oomph
His Game 7 baserunning helped lead to triumph
Balls and gloves and Jon Lester do not get along
But sometimes his bunting can fix previous wrongs.

Arrieta and Lackey could be gone after ‘17;
One more championship, please, before you split the scene.
Joe served up some drinks; making those is an art.
Thanks, all, for that title — a gift right for our hearts.

Joe sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
To Sloan Park in Mesa all flew like a missile.
And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Cub Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"