MLB Bullets Is Out To Get You

I hope you had a better weekend than I did. I spent most of it expelling various things out of my body in the grossest ways imaginable (well, I don't know your imagination) because of either some sort of stomach virus or food poisoning. But if I seem a little off today, that's why. If that works, I'll remember to use that excuse the next time I turn in a subpar piece.

• Mets hurler Jacob deGrom refused to sign his 2016 contract. The club automatically renewed deGrom's contract without his signature, as deGrom is not yet eligible for arbitration.
• On top of that, three pre-arbitration-eligible Rays refused to sign their contracts as well. It seems like this is going to be an issue in the upcoming CBA talks.
• Mets reliever Jenrry Mejia, who has been permanently suspended for failing three PED tests, says that his suspension was the result of a "witch hunt" by MLB and blasted the Players' Association for not defending him.
• Players' Association head Tony Clark said that neither Mejia nor anyone else told him that they were unsatisfied with the union's actions until it came out in the paper.
• Clark also stated that reports that the media would lose their access to the clubhouse before and after games are false.
• Craig Calcaterra is not impressed with the way Tony Clark has handled this particular incident.
• Travis Waldron has a profile of Clark.
• Dodgers infielder Chase Utley's two-game suspension was rescinded.
• Jon Paul Morosi explained how the World Baseball Classic helped to build a bridge between MLB and the Cuban baseball authorities--and maybe even the United States and Cuba.
• Yankees reliever Aroldis Chapman has started the process to acquire United States citizenship.
• Scott Bordow looks at the problems facing the Cactus League, both historically and today, as it celebrates its 70th season.
• Wanna buy the Yankees? You can buy 1% of the team for a measly $24 million. Pretty good deal for the Steinbrenners when you remember that George (and other investors) paid $10 million for the whole team in 1973.
• Fans watched an amazing 8.4 billion minutes of baseball on the MLB mobile At Bat app last season. And the average age of the users was 32 to 34, so take that all you "baseball is dying" people.
• The Braves may have had an issue taking their Hank Aaron statue with them from Turner Field, but don't worry: the giant Chick-fil-A cow will be making the move.
• Jonah Keri finishes up his series of the players with the top trade value in the game with players 1 through 20. Two Cubs make the top ten.
• The White Sox signed former Cubs outfielder Austin Jackson to a one-year, $5 million deal.
• Mat Latos says that he understands that his reputation for being "difficult" and shooting his mouth off has cost him a lot of money. He vows to change all that.
• Tigers center fielder Anthony Gose objected to metrics that said he had a bad year defensively last year by saying that the "whole analytics thing is a big scam anyway."
• David Schoenfield wonders if Gose has a point and concludes that nope, Gose was a bad outfielder last season.
• Jayson Stark looks at the connection between two Phillies shortstops, past and future: Larry Bowa and J.P. Crawford.
• Maicer Izturis announced his retirement. That officially makes Bartolo Colon the final Expo. (Unless you want to count someone like Ian Desmond, who played in the Expos minor league system but not for the major league team.)
• Braves pitcher (and former Cubs minor leaguer) Andrew McKirahan is out for the season with a torn UCL. He will probably have to undergo his second Tommy John surgery.
• First baseman Dan Johnson signed a minor league deal with the Rays as a knuckleball pitcher. I wish him luck. We need more knuckleballers.
• Buster Olney reports that Bronson Arroyo said that he's improved his approach to pitching by studying how David Ross pitches. Really. Unfortunately, like all of Buster's work, it's ESPN Insider only.
• Paul Swydan explains how Wil Myers is the key to any Padres resurgence this season.
• The Mets are tinkering with Yoenis Cespedes' approach at the plate. As long as they don't tinker with his wheels.
• Will Leitch looks at the chances of the five teams with the longest playoff droughts can break that string this season.
• The Brewers held a press conference to prove that "Hank the Dog" is alive. It's all a part of the same Illuminati conspiracy that took down Mejia.
• Players will be on Snapchat for the March 11 Spring Training games as part of a promotion. And they will use a "SnapBat" selfie stick.
• And finally, Alfred Hitchcock must have directed the Astros/Pirates game on Sunday because it was attacked by a swarm of angry seagulls. Actually, I'm not sure they were angry. I do know that they refused the sign the contracts they were offered though.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.