Cub Tracks Goes Deep

Jake Arrieta did the rest a couple of nights ago. Because you can't see it often enough: Jake Arrieta goes deeper than deep. Fear the beard; fear the bat.[VIDEO]

Otherwise, I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head.

* denotes autoplay; other marvels of technology

Two legs better.

• Jesse Rogers (ESPN*) Kyle Schwarber vows to return 'bigger, faster, stronger'. Because it makes Hulk stronger when he is angry.
• Evan Altman (Cubs Insider): Can Kyle Schwarber really come back better? Reasons to be cheerful, part one.
• CBS Chicago: Theo Epstein sick over Kyle' Schwarber's injury, but Cubs planned for such a 'bad dream'. There were good reasons president of baseball operations Theo Epstein and his front office were measured in their approach. The Cubs expected the "constant" of injuries, knowing it wasn’t a "variable," Epstein said.
• CBS Chicago: Kyle Schwarber's home run ball placed back atop Wrigley videoboard. "We didn’t want anyone who might have been able to climb up there to get a hold of it," Crane Kenney said of its winter absence. "So, we took it down. But as we debated internally about where does it belong, we thought it kind of belongs where it landed. So it’s back up there in a glass case."
• Brett Taylor (Bleacher Nation): Jen-Ho Tseng helped off field after being struck by comebacker. Not much information yet. Tseng was struck on the right leg, near the knee.

The philosopher's stone.

• Stephen Cohn (isportsweb): The Chicago Cubs are the most fun team in sports. Yes. Yes, they are. "And through a week of the season, they look like the best team in baseball as well."
• Patrick Mooney (CSN Chicago*): First impressions of Jason Heyward and how he can change Cubs. "...this guy is a really good baseball player," said Joe Maddon.
• Danny Udero (Silver City Sun): There's a different feeling about these lovable losers. " I think those days of the Cubs being the laughing stock of the league are gone..." Hey, hey, tow them away (sorry, ghost of Steve Goodman).
• Jesse Rogers (ESPN): Six things to know post-Kyle Schwarber injury. Reality check.
  
• Sports Mockery: Tom Ricketts issues important warning for everyone going to Cubs opener. For everyday use: Get there early.

The phlogiston theory.

• Bill Ruthhart (Chicago Tribune): Emanuel: Closing Wrigley streets a 'swing and miss'. "...You can't close down that thoroughfare, but we're going accomplish all the safety and security people need," the Mayor said, in part.
• Jesse Rogers (ESPN): Week 1 review: Cubs pass all tests. "...if manager Joe Maddon simply elects to walk Paul Goldschmidt on Friday night, the Cubs are probably 6-0 going into Monday's home opener." That's the sum total of non-injury negatives.
• (ESPN): Jed Hoyer discusses Chicago Cubs.[AUDIO]
• (ESPN) Tom Ricketts with Carmen and Jurko.[AUDIO]
• Bennett Wakenight (WGN Radio): The last Chicago Cubs dynasty.[AUDIO]

Walden III.

• Michael Tercha (Chicago Tribune): First in line for home opener.[VIDEO]
• (ESPN*) Week One power rankings. Cubs on top.[Video]
• CBS Chicago: Tom Ricketts: We're built for years of success. And we're ready for years of success.
• Lewis Lazare (Chicago Business Journal): Vivid Seats study reveals where hardcore Chicago Cubs and White Sox fans live in the city. Interesting. Not surprising if you live in (or grew up in) one of the two blue south districts or the two "tied" south districts (I did), but not well-known outside there.
• Fast Casual: Buona playing ball with Chicago Cubs, White Sox. Beefs at the ballpark should be limited to sandwiches. The meatballs should be covered in cheese. Anthony Rizzo apparently agrees, as he's inked a deal with the company. Is Prince Spaghetti next? Or would that only be doable if he were still in Boston?
  

The Hemlock maneuver.

• Michael Cerami (Bleacher Nation): Javier Baez update: heading to Iowa to tune up. "The expectation is that he’ll stay in Iowa for just a few days – possibly, a week – before rejoining the team in Chicago, as soon as he’s ready."
• (ESPN): Jorge Soler homers in his first at-bat, but it's his next at-bat that impresses. Sac fly, clutch rbi. Last year, situational hitting was far from Soler's specialty.
• TJ Tedeschi (isportsweb): Jorge Soler's time arrives after Kyle Schwarber's injury. Only hitting .150, Soler needs to pick it up now that left field seems to be his for the foreseeable future.
• John Arguello (Cubs Den): Jorge Soler can still grow into everyday player, but until then, Tommy La Stella should play key role in Cubs lineup rotation. "There is no question that Soler is the better player overall -- but that doesn't mean he is the better player in every situation."
• Andrew Joseph (USA Today): Umpire mistakenly rings up Anthony Rizzo after two strikes. The best part about it was that Rizzo didn’t even flinch. He stepped out of the box and continued his routine.
• Jesse Rogers (ESPN): Addison Russell Twitter mailbag: Why does he lose his bat so often?

Miscellaneous:

• Todd Johnson (Cubs Insider): Who's hot and who's not: Week one in the Cubs minors. The affiliates have gone 4-8, combined, so far.
• Jordan Schwartz (The Sports Quotient): What a Theo Epstein contract extension might look like.  There’s no reason to think Ricketts won’t spend heavily on the brain trust calling the shots off the field.
  
• Tommy Birch (Des Moines Register): Next wave of Chicago Cubs prospects are down on the farm. The third wave arrived this week: Catcher Willson Contreras, outfielder Albert Almora Jr., first baseman Dan Vogelbach, and pitchers Carl Edwards Jr., Pierce Johnson and Ryan Williams are all on Iowa’s Opening Day roster.
• Roy Lang III (Shreveport Times): Todd Walker: Time to get Cubs, Bartman 'off the hook'. "I had a screaming blast for three years with the Cubs and loved my time in Chicago," Walker said. About the Cubs winning? "That would be fantastic," he said. "I’ll (pop that champagne)."
• Justin Breen (DNAinfo): Who's the guy in the pink hat behind home plate at Wrigley Field. Jim Anixter, that's who. Anixter has owned Cubs season tickets in the first row since 1966.
• Carlos Portocarrero (Wrigleyville-Baseball Prospectus): Prospects, now as currency for the future. The gold standard of blue chips.

Food for thought:

• Alexandra Ossola (Popular Science): New views of the hallucinating brain. Researchers have taken new types of images of brains on LSD, illuminating the parts of the brain most affected by it. This could lead them to new ways to treat mental illness or even the seat of consciousness in the brain.
• Carl Zimmer (The New York Times): Scientists unveil new Tree Of Life. The researchers found that bacteria make up most of life’s branches. And they found that much of that diversity has been waiting in plain sight to be discovered, dwelling in river mud and meadow soils.
• Luba Vikhanski (Smithsonian): A science lecture accidentally sparked a global craze for yogurt. Jamie Lee Curtis was not involved. This was a little over a hundred years ago. In the United States, the Chicago Daily Tribune announced in an article headlined "Sour Milk Is Elixir..."

"I have a real poncho." -- Quentin Robert deLaneLand, the greatest living philistopher known to mankind.

The word of the day is impecunious.