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I don't want to be here any more than you do. Now shut up and read your Bullets while you have your coffee. It's good for you. And because I said so.
- In case you missed it yesterday, there were some pretty magnificent pitching performances. David Schoenfield marvels at how good the performance of the Phillies Vince Velasquez was. Three hits, no runs, no walks, 16 Ks. Of course, the Padres helped.
- Then the Cardinals Jaime Garcia had a one-hit, one walk and 13 strikeout shutout win over the Brewers. Of course, the Brewers helped.
- Schoenfield researches when we last had two pitching performances this good on the same day. I remember that two no-hitter day from 1990.
- On the subject of excellence, Grant Brisbee wonders what it would take for a major league team to win 117 games in a season.
- On the flip side of all this, the Red Sox placed Pablo Sandoval on the disabled list. Mark Townsend wonders if this is just a trial separation, of sorts. A prelude to a nasty divorce. What about the kids?
- Certainly Jeff Passan believes that the relationship between the Red Sox and Sandoval is nearly unsalvageable and that it's probably just a matter of time before Sandoval is traded for nothing or simply released.
- The Red Sox did want to correct one thing about Passan's article. Sandoval did undergo an MRI. Oh, nothing about that they're probably going to have to eat his whole contract. Just the part about the MRI. OK, Passan does make a big deal about that, but still.
- Sandoval's former trainer when he was with the Giants says that he needs "a babysitter" and that Sandoval has an eating disorder. He doesn't say "eating disorder," but that's clearly what he means. He says he's like an alcoholic, except for food and not alcohol.
- Craig Calcaterra thinks things are getting ugly in Boston, and because of the possibility that Sandoval does have an eating disorder, I'm going to let that hanging curveball of a statement go by without swinging at it.
- The other issue in Boston is who should be their starting catcher: Blake Swihart or Christian Vazquez? I'm going to go with Jason Varitek.
- Because I know that you haven't had enough about Drake LaRoche, Adam LaRoche talks to Tim Keown about his decision to retire. It's long and worth reading, even if you don't agree with LaRoche.
- Jayson Stark goes in depth on the new slide rules at second base and thinks they need to be tweaked.
- Neither the Twins nor the Braves have won a game yet. It's the first time since 1988 that two teams have lost their first nine games.
- David Schoenfield thinks that while the Twins are bad, the Braves are "shaping up as one of the most depressing teams of all time." Wow. An entire team that needs prozac. Is that even permitted under the Joint Drug Agreement?
- If things couldn't get more depressing for the Braves, Hector Olivera was arrested on a domestic violence charge. He's on administrative leave until further notice.
- Phillies pitcher Daniel Stumpf was suspended 80 games for a PED violation.
- Stumpf was a Rule 5 pick. J.J. Cooper notes that that the current system provides a perverse incentive for Rule 5 picks to use PEDs, even if they get caught.
- Cardinals pitcher Marco Gonzales will miss the entire season after Tommy John surgery.
- Yu Darvish says he's not yet ready to come back from last season's Tommy John surgery.
- Despite this, Jay Jaffe notes that Tommy John surgeries are down this season. He does note that it's too early to know if this is a trend or just a statistical blip.
- Gabe Lacques has a profile of Bobby Tewksbary, a player who never made it out of independent baseball but who used video and sports science to transform himself into a hitting guru. He's had a major impact on the swings of several players on the Blue Jays. A good read.
- And Andrew Marchand says that the Blue Jays reminded the Yankees why they're still the defending AL East champs.
- Ronald Torreyes is someone I wrote a lot about when he was a Cubs minor leaguer. Now he's off to a hot start with the Yankees and Chris Mitchell writes that Torreyes has been exceeding expectations for a while now.
- When Torreyes was with the Cubs, I would occasionally compare him to Jose Altuve, although mostly in a "poor-man's" way. I'm fairly certain Torreyes was not reading me, but apparently he did take a lot of inspiration from Altuve. Torreyes also said that short guys like him are now getting a chance because of Altuve.
- Anthony Castrovince has ten early season questions in need of an answer.
- Grant Brisbee thinks Carlos Correa is the most valuable player in baseball, right now.
- Possible number one pick in this June's draft, Jason Groome, has been ruled ineligible for the next 30 days.
- The sad story of Mike Piazza's 9-11 jersey has come to a happy ending.
- The extended netting at Nationals Park has already prevented one flying broken bat accident.
- Bill Baer asks if you can enjoy a baseball game going by yourself. I can attest that you can. It's maybe not as much fun, but it's still fun.
- Steven Goldman remembers the career of forgotten Yankees legend Bob Shawkey. (Is that an oxymoron?)
- Gerrit Cole made a great pickoff throw to first base. Only problem? No one was there. You see that in the minors a lot. Not so much in the majors.
- Indians shortstop Francisco Lindor had some troubles with the catwalks at Tropicana Field.
- This ESPN quiz is incredibly fun: Can you identify 18 ballparks from their satellite photographs?
- And finally, I always say that baseball is better in Korean. Listen to the Korean call of the Mariners Dae-Ho Lee hitting a walkoff home run Wednesday night.
And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.