MLB Bullets Got Caught Stealing

When in the world does news baseball news break at 1:30 am Eastern time? I had just finished typing all this up and started getting ready for bed and now I've got to completely rewrite the lede. We have to implement changes in the MLB drug policy. For one, no announcements after bedtime.

• Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon tested positive for exogenous testosterone and clostebol. He has been suspended 80 games in violation of the PED policy.
• Christina Kahrl is sad over Gordon's suspension, but his suspension is proof that MLB's PED policy does have some teeth and that it's not just sluggers than use PEDs.
• Now for what I wrote before I got ready for bed. The Braves won last night to improve their record to 5-17. Despite that, Craig Calcaterra thinks the end is nigh for Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez.
• If you want any more evidence, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution remembers the last time a Braves manager was fired by reprinting part of that now 26-year-old article.
• Ken Rosenthal says that the Braves present is bleak and that they can't necessarily count on their farm system to bail them out in the future. Rosenthal notes that some of the highly-regarded talent that the Braves have been amassing have been underperforming so far. Maybe, but you know it's still April?
• Holy cow! The Braves finally hit a home run on Wednesday, after more than a two-week drought. Chip Caray celebrated the occasion with a familiar (and familial) home run call.
• The Braves are reportedly trying to acquire some of the tradeable draft picks by taking on bad contracts. So far, they've gotten no takers.
• The White Sox lost last night to drop their record to a still-AL-best 16-7. But David Schoenfield thinks the White Sox still has some work to do before we consider them a contender.
• Cliff Corcoran thinks it's too early to know for sure, but he believes that the White Sox will be relevant all year long.
• Jonathan Bernhardt thinks we need to see the White Sox play 50 games before we can start coming to conclusions about them.
• Exactly four years after making his MLB debut, Bryce Harper talks about what he's accomplished and what goals he still has.
• Sarah Langs compares what Harper and Mike Trout have done over the past four years.
• Harper also said that he would play for Team USA in the World Baseball Classic, as long as the team is "built to win." Which means he'll play if players like Kris Bryant, Noah Syndergaard and Trout agree to be on the team.
• Jeff Sullivan notes what I noted here last time: The Nationals hot start was aided by a favorable schedule.
• Rian Watt talks to five Nationals about playing for manager Dusty Baker. If you want to know why people consider Baker a good manager despite some head-scratching decisions, read this. Baker has the ability to make players want to run through a wall for him.
• Baker also allows stuff like this. For "Take Your Daughter To Work Day," Madison Roark, the daughter of starting pitcher Tanner Roark, made out the Nats lineup card for the day. Adorable.
• David Schoenfield argues that Rich Hill's hot start is for real.
• Bill Baer lists the most surprising breakout performances so far.
• Mark Simon explains how Neil Walker is tied for the NL lead in home runs so far.
• Anthony Castrovince lists eight slow starts that no one should worry about yet.
• An interview with Manny Machado. He talks about playing third base and other things.
• Longtime Mariners CEO Howard Lincoln announced his retirement. (h/t Hardball Talk)
• Jim Caple thinks this development should make M's fans happy.
• On to the butcher's bill. Phillies pitcher Charlie Morton is out for the season after hamstring surgery.
• Angels closer Huston Street goes on the DL with a strained oblique.
• Yu Darvish is set to begin a rehab stint in the minor leagues.
• The Red Sox are happy with the progress Pablo Sandoval has made. Rob Bradford also has some background on Sandoval's contract. (h/t Hardball Talk)
• He's not getting suspended, but the Tigers did send outfielder Tyler Collins down to the minors. The Tigers say it had nothing to do with his flipping the bird at fans. It probably had everything to do with him being 2 for 20 at the plate on the season.
• David Freese hit that famous fly ball off of Neftali Feliz over Nelson Cruz's head in game 6 of the 2011 World Series, with the Rangers just one strike away from their first World Series title. Manny Randhawa talks to them about what it is like to now be teammates in Colorado. Essentially, they just treat each other like any other teammate, although they are aware of it.
• Raul Ibañez will replace Curt Schilling at ESPN.
• Bengie Molina thinks that there should be more Hispanic managers in MLB. He'd like to be one of them. The big problem with Molina as manager is that with those new clocks, he'd never make it out to the mound before the timer on his mound meeting ran out.
• Cliff Corcoran has profiles of five of the top prospects for the 2016 MLB draft. Since the Cubs don't pick until late in the third round, you can forget about these guys.
• In light of another sport having a draft, David Schoenfield remembers the Yankees took John Elway six picks before the Padres took Tony Gwynn, and other football stars getting drafted.
• Jared Goff was the first pick in yesterday's NFL draft. His dad Jerry Goff played six years in the majors.
• The independent Atlantic League is using new team-branded catching gear, much like hockey goalie gear in the NHL. This could be a new trend in baseball.
• Noah Syndergaard is nicknamed "Thor," so he walked the streets of New York dressed as Thor.
• Someone stole a 14-foot Royals outfielder from off a billboard.
• And finally, Adrian Beltre took the time after foul ball to do some yoga, apparently.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.