MLB Bullets Is Looking For Trends

Happy Friday. The Cubs are undefeated. All is good in the world. Except that I've written so many pieces in the past two days that I'm running out of words. I'm especially low on verbs. I think I'm OK on definite articles though.

• Anthony Castrovince looks at ten storylines that are dominating the early headlines.
• One storyline is the resurgence of Robinson Cano. Tim Healey writes that Cano has always been among the best players in the game. Certainly Mariners fans are not cursing his name anymore.
• Mark Hinog calls attention to Cano taunting a heckler in the stands with a home run.
• Another storyline is Noah Syndergaard, who apparently threw a 95 mph slider in his start against the Royals.
• Richard Justice notes that home runs are back in a big way so far this season.
• And Alec Dopp wonders where did all the stolen bases go?
• Carlos Correa has been off to a fantastic start to the year. Jonah Keri argues we may soon be speaking of Correa in the same category with Mike Trout and Bryce Harper.
• Comedian Bill Maher has made it clear that he doesn't like Harper and thinks he's "arrogant." Grant Brisbee finds that very amusing coming from Maher.
• Another topic this season has been the new rules about sliding into second base. Several people took offense to Blue Jays manager John Gibbons comments about players will be wearing dresses next. Gibbons pushed back against the criticism, but Bill Baer thinks Gibbons was wrong.
• Tony Massarotti wrote a column blasting the new rules and Craig Calcaterra thinks Massarotti's column is a whole new heap of stupid on this topic.
• Marc Normandin reads Massarotti's column so you don't have to.
• ESPN's Bomani Jones wore a "Cleveland Caucasians" T-Shirt on the air to protest Indians mascot Chief Wahoo.
• Some people were quite offended by the shirt and called it "racist." Yeah. That was the point.
• A look back at Al Campanis' infamous interview on "Nightline," 29 years ago this week.
• On the 40th anniversary of it's release, Dan Epstein calls "The Bad News Bears" the greatest baseball movie ever made. I will add that Epstein is absolutely, 100% right.
• Craig Calcaterra also has an appreciation of "The Bad News Bears."
• You'll have to decide for yourself how you feel about this, but Eli Saslow has a profile of Matt Bush and his return to baseball after serving four years in jail.
• Baseball America shows which teams produced the most major leaguers. The Cubs are actually in the top half now.
• The Padres are off to the worst start in the history of baseball.
• But at least they brought the brown uniforms back!
• Will Leitch looks at the fate of teams that start the season 0-3. It's not the Padres he's worried about.
• More bad news for the Padres. Minor league outfielder Jose Urena was suspended for 80 games after testing positive for a PED.

I can't claim to have come up with this gag, but:

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Jose Urena

Jose Urena who?

Jose Urena lotta trouble.

• The 2nd pick in the 2014 draft, Marlins pitcher Tyler Kolek, underwent Tommy John surgery.
• Ben Berkon reports on attempts to use biomechanics to prevent injuries in youth players.
• Braves pitcher John Gant officially has the strangest delivery in baseball.
• Gant himself had no idea he was doing that until his teammates convinced him.
• Matt Goodman lists the managers who are most in danger of losing their job.
• David Schoenfield predicts that Joe Panik will win the 2016 NL batting title.
• A review of MLB The Show 16 for you videogamers. I pretty much only play FIFA.
• The Red Sox aren't going to lower their beer prices because beer is "wildly popular." Points for honesty.
• A document up for auction changes some of what we know about the early history of baseball.
• The Blue Jays will finally have an all-dirt infield.
• Mike Lupica notes the irony that the Yankees want to be like the Royals or Astros these days.
• And finally, unicorns and sharks got to watch a Yankees game, courtesy of HBO's John Oliver. Also Dinosaurs.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.