MLB Bullets is over Miami

Today is the last day of summer for my daughter. Good luck to everyone returning to school over the next few weeks.

If we can’t have a psychedelic home run statue that looks like Jacques Cousteau dropped acid in Miami, where can we have one?

• Giancarlo Stanton is a big, bad man who has homered in six straight games and has 44 home runs this season.
• Jeff Passan reports that Stanton has cleared waivers and argues that the Marlins need to trade Stanton while his value is still high. He also reports that the Marlins were discussing a deal for Stanton before the deadline with an unnamed team, but that the Marlins sale situation put an end to the negotiations.
• Grant Brisbee looks at which teams would be interested in Stanton. All of them, actually. It’s a considerably smaller list, Brisbee notes, that are interested in Stanton’s contract.
• Speaking of the Marlins sale, Derek Jeter reportedly wants to get rid of the home run sculpture at Marlins Park. Jon Tayler is rightfully appalled.
• As is Grant Brisbee, who correctly points out that the home run sculpture is a treasure of kitsch. And the Marlins are supposed to be weird.
• Turning to better news, Rockies pitcher Chad Bettis made his first major league start since his offseason diagnosis of cancer and he threw seven scoreless innings. David Schoenfield was inspired by Bettis’ return.
• Many ballplayers issued their best regards to Bettis, including fellow cancer survivor Jon Lester.
• Topps released a special baseball card to commemorate Bettis’ return.
• Sports On Earth named Bettis this week’s “Greatest Athlete on Earth.”
• Former Phillies catcher Darren Daulton wasn’t so lucky in his battle with cancer. What’s worrisome is that Daulton was the fourth Phillies player to die of this particular form of brain cancer. No one knows if it’s just random chance or if these players had something in common that caused the cancer. (And as the article points out, if it was something at Veterans Stadium, the NFL Philadelphia Eagles played at the same stadium and none have developed this form of cancer.)
• Bryce Harper is still injured. Eddie Matz writes that the Nationals will be fine without him as long as he’s back to full strength by the playoffs.
• Jeff Passan wonders if Harper is really worth a $500 million contract if he’s always getting hurt.
• Stephanie Springer has an article that has caused a stir this week on the Joint Drug Agreement in MLB, how PED drugs are detected and why the current system has many loopholes that cheats can exploit.
• MLB games are five minutes longer this year than last. Sam Miller explains why.
• The Tigers Ian Kinsler is looking at a suspension and/or fine after he told reporters that umpire Angel Hernandez needs to find a new line of work because he’s “messing with baseball games.” That may or may not be true, but the commissioner’s office can’t let that stand without punishment.
• Giants third baseman Pablo Sandoval says he’s glad to be back in San Francisco and he issued an apology for what he said when he left the Giants in the first place. And it’s a pretty strong apology saying “I made a mistake. I’m very sorry.” (h/t Hardball Talk)
• Todd Coffey retired. This may be news to you since Coffey hasn’t pitched in the majors since 2012, but if you’ve read Jeff Passan’s book The Arm, you know that Coffey has been trying to come back since then. He was pitching in independent ball as recently as last year.
• Bob Nightengale looks at the Dodgers front office and how a juggernaut was built.
• Aaron Gleeman has an interview with Twins general manager Thad Levine.
• R.J. Anderson talks with baseball agents about the growing information gap in analytics between front offices and player agents. Most agents try not to worry about it though.
• Neil Paine looks at the surprising return of dominating aces this season, noting that Chris Sale and Max Scherzer are both MVP candidates.
• Tom Verducci believes that the great rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox has returned, now that the Yankees are contenders again.
• Will Leitch marvels that the Angels are a playoff contender. Some of us predicted the Angels to be the second wildcard in the AL, flaws and all. We were unjustly mocked.
• Sam Miller thinks that in the near future, we’re going to see a lot more crazy defensive alignments like the four-man outfield that Joe Maddon used on Monday.
• Dave Cameron thinks a trade that was considered minor at the time, the Rays sending shortstop Tim Beckham to the Orioles, may turn out to be the steal of the season.
• Tony Blengino looks at three struggling shortstops, Brandon Crawford, Xavier Bogaerts and Trevor Story. He then predicts how likely they are to rebound from their struggles.
• David Schoenfield has an all-surprise team for 2017. Good surprises
• Cliff Corcoran has one current player for each team who is most likely to have their number retired one day.
• Joe Sparacio has the ten best home run robberies from 2017. Good stuff for us fielding addicts.
• Eddie Matz asks why don’t MLB teams shake hands after a game like they do in Little League? He gets several answers, actually. Nobody said “cooties” though. I guess that’s just self-evident.
• The Braves are wearing some cool 1974 jerseys to honor Hank Aaron this weekend.
• Andrew Mayeda has a look at the last American manufacturer of baseball gloves.
• Some Diamondbacks players are wearing space helmets because they think the Astros play in outer space. I think it’s a joke. I think.
• And finally, a 24-year-old college student bought a baseball bat for $2.22 at a Goodwill store in Pittsburgh. Turns out, it was a bat that was once used by Hall-of-Famer Pie Traynor and is worth several thousand dollars.

And tomorrow will be a better day than today, Buster.