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Let’s overreact to Cubs Opening Day

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Overreacting to Opening Day is a time-honored tradition. Who are we to argue with tradition?

MLB: Chicago Cubs at Miami Marlins Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

It’s a baseball tradition to overreact to everything that happened on Opening Day. It is not the right call to draw big conclusions based on tiny sample sizes, but it’s really not as much fun as doing so. As Cubs fans, we’ve been conditioned since childhood to overreact in a negative sense to everything that happens on the first day (WE’RE DOOOOMED!) but the new post-World Series Champion Cubs can now put on their rose-colored glasses and see nothing but sunshine going forward.

(There are some exceptions to that negative tone of Cubs fans. I do remember many predictions of stardom for Tuffy Rhodes after Opening Day in 1994. Those predictions proved to be correct, as long as people added the caveat “in Japan” to the forecasts of Rhodes’ immortality.)

So here as are some big overreactions to yesterday’s win over the Marlins.

—The Cubs are going to go undefeated this season. No team can match up with them.

—Having said that, Jon Lester is finished. Time to call up Jen-Ho Tseng or Adbert Alzolay.

Ian Happ is going to be the Rookie of the Year in 2018. No matter that he’s in his second season, he’s going to be so good that he’ll be voted Rookie of the Year anyway.

—But Happ is going to strike out too much to be really effective.

Kyle Schwarber will never be able to play left field. Trade him to an American League club now where he can DH.

Jason Heyward’s struggles are over. 1 for 3 with a double and a walk is a sure sign he’s returned to being the hitter he was in Atlanta and St. Louis.

—We worried about the Cubs bullpen for nothing. Five and two-thirds innings of no-run, one -hit baseball? Without Morrow even taking the mound? Start calling them the “Even Nastier Boys” because they’re better than the 1990 Reds.

Tommy La Stella will set a record for most pinch-hits in a season.

—The Cubs will hit over 400 home runs as a team this year.

—The Marlins are one of the worst teams of all-time. (OK, that one might not be an overreaction.)

So what are your overreactions to yesterday’s Cubs win?