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Cub Tracks’ mettle men

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Manager tracker, Ross the boss, everybody is a star, and other bullets

Celebrities Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne
Put your hands together you !@?&%#/!
Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

In the interest of milking the drama from every moment by overhyping everything, let me just say that this is the best Cub Tracks ever, at the outset, the onset, the preface as it were, and thank you, Bruce Wolf.

The next Cub Tracks will be the next best. Ads infinitum. We aim to please, and we aim low.

“The column we need right now” — Joe Maddon.

“I am Groot” — Iron Maddon.

See what I mean? But seriously, folks, the postseason galumphed along, with a tilt between the Astros, who used to be an NL team (and still would be if the Diamondbacks had cooperated), and the damnYankees. An elimination game, no less.

I admit I watched. Didn’t you? I bet you did. Gleyber Torres looks damn good. I’m not grousing — not only was there no way to know that he would have been THIS, but Aroldis Chapman was instrumental in the Cubs World Series-winning campaign. Perhaps if he had sung, things would have been even better.

Instead, we got Ben Zobrist’s ex-wife, gods rest her vocal cords. Such a stark contrast. Her mettle was tested, all right.

Here’s today’s Cubs News and Notes. As always, * means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). {$} means paywall. {$} means limited views. Italics are often used here as sarcasm font.

Food for thought:

Thanks for reading.