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‘Twas the night before Cub Christmas

An annual affront to Clement Clarke Moore.

‘Twas the night before Cub Christmas, and as you will see
In ‘20 all the Cubs games will be on Marquee
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Theo & Jed soon would be there.

The Cubs of ‘19 looked like they were October-bound,
In September, though, too many injuries came ‘round.
Rizzo and Bryant and Baez, all hurt
So a postseason spot, they could not convert.

Joe Maddon’s gone to Anaheim, he won’t be back
To that World Series trophy we can always flash back
After the ‘19 season more coaches departed
Green, Driver and Napoli hope to get the guys started.

Then out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I ran to the ballpark to see what was the matter.
And then what should appear, as if in a dream:
A blue-and-white sleigh carrying a baseball team!

With a brand new sleigh driver, the guy called Grandpa,
David Ross, the new boss, was hired to lay down the law.
Swifter than Chatwood’s pitches the players they came,
And Rossy whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

”Now, Bryant! Now, Rizzo!
Now, Albert and Happ!
On, Nico! On, Willson!
On Javy and Schwarber!

Forget that launch angle!
Just please hit the ball!
We’ll play ‘em all hard
Hope to be there next fall!”

The brown leaves that fall from the ivy walls die,
When they start to grow, Hendricks’ changeup will fly.
Wrigley’s first 2020 game will be next March 30,
Here’s hoping Opening Day’ll be over 30 degrees.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw two intent faces
Planning, they were, on future pennant races.
And just as I went to look and was turning around,
Where’s the cash, Jed & Theo? It cannot be found.

They were still dressed in chinos and polo shirts,
And they brought some who’ll play on the Wrigley Field dirt.
There were only new minor-league guys on the roster,
Money’s tight, they said, winning might be harder.

”I brought you Craig Kimbrel,” Theo said, “last year.”
“He’ll be better, and you won’t give him a Bronx cheer.”
Lester, Quintana are in the last year of their contracts
In 2020, hopefully they’ll give up less contact.

Javy Baez was hitting well and then broke his thumb
Trying to steal a base... sorry, that was just dumb.
Norwood, Maples, Wick, Wieck: What will they become?
Will they be good pitchers? Or just four more bums?

Willson walked off the Brewers in the 15th inning
As he circled the bases, everyone was grinning
But the nine-game losing streak that came in the fall
Meant that big changes will come to Cubs baseball

Yu Darvish — man, that second half was so nice
He hardly walked anyone and on Twitter gave advice
Nico Hoerner showed up earlier than anyone thought
He played very well, but it all went for naught.

So we enter 2020 with Cubs uncertainty,
At Sloan Park in Mesa next spring, hopefully,
Rossy and the guys will put up the good fight.
Happy Cub Christmas to all, and to all a good night!