Cub Tracks keeps tabs on the tabloids

Welcome to Saturday. Today the Cubs are going for meatloaf, after turning the Nationals into hamburger. Nobody’d be able to tell by the final score that the outcome had been “very much in doubt**” for most of the game, but it was, at least until the blue magic took over. Mike Montgomery got a hit. I think I saw a hot dog man grab a bat. I think that little girl that got the baseball was on deck. More of that please.

That Bryant kid is kinda good, yes? That catcher, too. Oh, and Joe — we heard that. So gameworded up, eh? Ooopsy.

Oh, and hey! Cubs! I love the black hats — I just got one (it arrived an hour before the game). They’re quite nice indeed, and match the rest of my wardrobe. I am especially glad to have it start with a win in it. More of that please.

Here’s today’s Cubs News and Notes. As always, * means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). **cribbed from Len Kasper.

• Jed Hoyer speaks on The Score [AUDIO].
• Phil Rosenthal (Chicago Tribune* {$}): As sports gambling grows, an athlete’s divorce is now more than just gossip. “I wish I could say the pending dissolution of Ben and Julianna Zobrist’s marriage was nobody’s business but theirs.” It’s in People, for crying out loud.
• Gordon Wittenmyer (Chicago Sun-Times* {$}): Long division: Last-place Reds remind Cubs of dangers lurking in deep NL Central. “There are no soft spots left in the National League Central Division.”
• Mark Gonzales (Chicago Tribune* {$}): Anthony Rizzo’s return and a dominant rotation raise the Cubs’ hopes during a challenging stretch. “I thought this would have happened last year,” manager Joe Maddon said.
• Jamal Collier (MLB.com*): Max Scherzer grinds, bullpen unravels vs. Cubs. “... the Nationals lost for the eighth time in 10 games with their best pitcher on the mound.”
• Patrick Mooney (The Athletic {$}): How Brandon Kintzler recovered from the Nationals trade and became a big part of the Cubs bullpen. “The offseason was huge just to get the emotional side of the whole trade out of the way,” Kintzler said.
• Evan Altman (Cubs Insider): Salty Kintzler throwing shade along with more changeups in return to Washington. “Anyone’s salty when they’re in Triple-A, so I just kind of had an edge,” Kintzler explained to Gordon Wittenmyer this past April.
• Jordan Bastian (MLB.com*): Maddon ‘intrigued’ by variety at top of lineup. “There’s no downside to it, as far as I can tell. I’m kind of intrigued, actually,” he said.
• Ben Raby (MLB.com*): Rizzo returns to Cubs lineup after back stiffness. “I still want to watch it closely,” Maddon said.
• Paul Sullivan (Chicago Tribune* {$}): Tommy La Stella had 10 career home runs entering this season. How did the Angels turn the ex-Cub into a power hitter at age 30? Ask interbret? “... if he keeps up this pace, he could be in Cleveland in July with the American League All-Stars.”
• Mark Gonzales (Chicago Tribune* {$}): Kris Bryant belts 3 home runs — in 3 straight innings — to lead the Cubs to a 14-6 win over the Nationals. “This marked the second time Bryant hit three home runs in a game, with the first time occurring June 27, 2016, against the Reds in Cincinnati.” Ben Raby has more.
• Annie Costabile (Chicago Sun-Times* {$}): Fans come out to Chicago Dogs opener for Carlos Zambrano’s return to mound. “Former Blackhawks star Chris Chelios threw out the first pitch and he couldn’t help himself from taking that same trip down memory lane.”
• Cubs birthdays: Jim Sundberg, Eric Young Sr., Rich Garces, David Patton, Randy Rosario. Also notable: Brooks Robinson, Reggie Jackson (HoF).

Food for thought:

Thanks for reading. More tomorrow —undead from Berwyn!