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Cub Tracks’ strange wine

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The new baseballs are more like golf balls, and other bullets

Karl Carsony
capping it off
Photo by Charles Hewitt/Picture Post/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

There may not be alligators under Manhattan, Harlan Ellison, but oh, baby, there’s one in Humboldt Park lagoon. I hope they can capture the creature alive and deal with them humanely. Kind of like White Sox fans.

Ashlee Rezin/Sun-Times

My cup of the milk of human kindness runneth over. I think I’m past last year’s total of Rick Morrissey columns and it’s only July. That indicates some kind of perturbation in the aether. Perhaps a flagon of phlogiston would help. Alas, we have none. We don’t even have a phlebotomist.

I’ll stop toying with you, as maybe three people in the audience will understand the subreferences and I buried the lede a long time ago. In lieu of such alchemical apothecary and in anticipation of approbation, we’ll keep a long story short and cut to the quick, Juliette. Here’s today’s Cubs News and Notes. As always, * means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). {$} means paywall. {$] means limited views.

Food for thought: