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Cub Tracks gets carried away

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#Cubs and #MLB news

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Oh I turned over a new rock. Yeahhhhh. Let’s don’t forget sensational rookies Oye Como Va and Vaya Con Dios when you’re making out your fantasy roster. It’s that time of year folks, when, as we’ve gotten used to, the Cubs created buzz by doing absolutely nothing while being talked about in every context, but nothing was written in stone.

Oh I need to take some of those tablets. Not the red or blue ones, you understand. Walter Waldowski would understand. So would Johnny Mandel’s teenage son. Cuz the suspense in waiting for the next move is killing me.

Softly. Slowly. Hold me closer, Tony Danza. This is the sound, not of my soul, but of my fandom. Wrigley Field might as well be a tree museum, under late-stage capitalism.

Oh darlin’. Please believe me.

Here’s Cub Tracks News and Notes. As always, * means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). {$} means paywall. {$} means limited views. Italics are often used on this page as sarcasm font. (In the comments section, use @ before and after your remarks @ to produce sarcasm font.)

Food for thought:

Thanks for reading. Go back to sleep.