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Cub Tracks and the state of matters

The latest in our long-running series of #Cubs-related news articles. This one has a charge.

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SPORTS-BBN-SULLIVAN-COLUMN-TB Brian Cassella/Chicago Tribune/Tribune News Service via Getty Images

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“There is no secret sauce.” — Hamburglar, previously, in an aside to Mayor McCheese.

The Cubs’ front office continues to work on their flat-top while the offseason intrigue percolates. Maybe they can build a better burger but it doesn’t have the same ring: “Two All Beef Patties, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions on a Sesame Seed Bun.”

Randy Bush is going to build his burgers in Jacksonville. It strikes me as a Jason McLeod move, but it doesn’t knock me out.

I need something that’s going to make me have a vowel movement, like “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, they did THAT? Right on.”

The burger still needs something, in other words. Maybe a pretzel bun? Definitely not white bread. Keep it under the microscope and see what happens.

BRING ON THE ROBOT UMPS.

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