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Cub Tracks’ built to last?

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The latest in our series of #Cubs-related news.

Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

Here at CUB TRACKS NEWS AND NOTES™, we have #Cubs, #MiLB, and #MLB news for you. Friday, October 8, the Chicago Cubs did not play. Several former members, at least one of whom has turned out to welcome the move, are playing. If there is any solace, the Cardinals are at home watching, too.

In this information-dense age, the ‘human drama of athletic competition’ has somewhat given way to endless soap opera, and I expect no less going forward, with the addition of professional gambling to the financial reservoir. Oh, I can see it now:

“Here comes slugger Christian Bebop. He’s a 6’7” mountain of a man, wearing number 15 in your souvenir book, brought to you by the RamJac corporation, wielding a 35-ounce bat built especially for him by the kind folks at Louisville Mattock, wearing cleats by Prato, uniform by Guccifur, and seeing the world through Cubbie Blue spectacles, made by Lakeview LLC.

“Bebop, sponsored by Clark Street Pharmaceuticals, the home of the Wrigley Brick, steps to the plate.

“He flails wildly at strike one, a fastball thrown a little high by Irving Small, the 132nd fastest arm in the NL West. Bebop was swinging at number #133, it seems, and was a little short for Irving’s offering.

“Balls and strikes are called today by donations to the Susan Calvin Fund for Advanced Positronics. Bitcoin and other cryptocurrency gladly accepted, as are small brown paper bags over the transom.

“Oddsmaker tab this next pitch as a curve ball. PlayFairdotcom gives it 66%, while Neodictions gives it a 70 rating.

“Small delivers a slider, sponsored by El Castillo Blanco. It curves away from his bat and nestles in the catcher’s glove, brought to you by the Spaulding people, as if it were magic.

“A knuckle-curve, sponsored by the Professional Boxing Association, and Bebop takes a mighty cut. The bat travels further than the ball as he loses his grip, brought to you by Widow Tack, and heaves the lumber into the netting.

“We’ll be back tomorrow for another inning. Please now enjoy thirty-six consecutive hours of commercials.”

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