clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Cub Tracks’ springs eternal

New, 20 comments

#Cubs and #MLB news you can use.

2020 Chicago Cubs Photo Day Photo by Adam Glanzman/MLB Photos via Getty Images

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A man walks into training camp. Warm fuzzies all around. In the gorgeous mid-70s in central and southern Arizona, Pedro Strop and his hat are in the mix. Everything looks Jake. Optimism abounds. The moment should be preserved, laminated, even. It’s so perfect.

The man pays an exorbitant sum, receives his chit. Produces identification, gets adult refreshments, takes his seat, fifteen feet from the third-base coach. Soon enough, the entertainment begins, amid the smell of new-mown grass, the ball thwacking into the glove with regularity, the click! of a well-stroked drive, the grunts as fielders heave the rock into play.

He observes the veterans, the big dogs, conserving energy, knowing that they’ll only be in for a couple of innings, smooth, confident. They’re always in the right place. They’ve seen this movie before.

He turns to the nearest fan and shouts “I just flew in from Vegas... what do we call this #@%$&/ team?”

“The %&@#%$ Cubs,” comes the answer.

The hungry minor-leaguers come in, dropping the ball, throwing it around the yard. A gopher ball with runners on, and a pitchers’ duel turns into a slugfest. “Boy, are my arms tired,” remarks the third base coach.

He groans, turns to the nearest fan and shouts “What do we call this #@%$&/ team?”

The aristocrats,” comes the answer. Remember, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight.

Here’s Cub Tracks News and Notes, the only listicle you’ll need. As always, * means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). {$} means paywall. {$} means limited views. Italics are often used on this page as sarcasm font. (In the comments section, use @ before and after your remarks @ to produce sarcasm font. In the text body. It doesn’t work in the headlines.)

Food for Thought:

Thanks for reading.