Braves 13, Cubs 4: Do-it-yourself recap

About that score:

The Braves scored 1 run. 2 runs. 8 runs. 10 runs. 13 runs. 100 runs. eleventy-billion runs. Seemed like that many, right?

The Cubs scored 0 runs. 0 runs. 0 runs. 0 runs. 0 runs. 2 runs. 4 runs. Were you still even watching then?
The Cubs' runs were driven in by Anthony Rizzo. Anthony Rizzo. Both of the above! He hit two HR! Javier Baez. Cody Ransom. No, not Cody Ransom.

Kyle Hendricks had thrown well in his last start, but this time, not so much. He allowed four home runs in the first inning. That tied a franchise record set by (a) himself (b) no, of course not (c) Phil Norton in 2000 (d) Jon Lieber in 2008 (The answer is both 'c' AND 'd') .

The Cubs bullpen kept the game close now come on, that can't happen in 2021 allowed a bunch more runs and homers now you're getting the picture . It didn't really matter because after the Cubs got to within two runs, the Braves had their second two-run inning four-run inning six-run inning. 20-run inning. No, not 20. It only seemed like that many. .

This was the Cubs' most lopsided defeat since Saturday Friday Thursday Surprisingly, it's... August 6, 2020, a 13-2 loss to the Royals. That game also got a do-it-yourself recap here. The good news (maybe!) is that the Cubs followed that loss with a three-game wining streak.

After Hendricks, the Cubs pitchers who finished the game kept giving up runs. More and more runs. The worst offender was... Ryan Tepera Steve Trachsel Turk Wendell Lee Smith Bruce Sutter You only wish it had been Bruce Sutter.

Craig Kimbrel threw an inning in garbage time. Sometimes this doesn't work for closers, but Sunday night, it didn't.... Wait, yes it did! Kimbrel threw a scoreless inning... ... and was hitting 97-98 miles per hour. So that's good, anyway.

The Cubs' record is now a) 9-6. b) 6-9. c) 6-900. It only seems like 900 losses. If you picked (b), you're right.
But that doesn't matter, because a) it's early. b) it's early. c) it's early. (Hint: It's getting not-so-early.)

Tuesday night at Wrigley Field, the Cubs will lose to the Braves again. (No, wait, they don't play the Braves.) face the New York Mets. Game time is 6:40 p.m. CT... weather permitting.

In that game, the Cubs will send Jake Arrieta to the mound to face Taijuan Walker, and Jake will... ... win the game against the Mets ... by throwing a shutout. ... or maybe a no-hitter. (OK, so maybe I'm dreaming.)

Tuesday's game will be televised on a) Marquee Sports Network. b) Marquee Sports Network. c) Marquee Sports Network. d) Marquee Sports Network. e) Marquee Sports Network. f) Marquee Sports Network. You don't think there's another choice here, are you? Wait, there is another choice. The game's also on ESPN ... no blackouts.

Manager David Ross' comments after Sunday's game included: "Look, what do you want me to do?" (Whoops, sorry. That one's left over from five managers ago.) "It just wasn't his night. Couldn't find it." Yes, that's what Ross actually said.