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‘Twas the night before Cub Christmas

An annual affront to Clement Clarke Moore.

‘Twas the night before Cub Christmas, and in 2022
The Cubs began a rebuild, but claimed that wasn’t true.
The team’s future performance is now up in the air,
Good ol’ Jed Hoyer, though — he is still there.

A lockout delayed things, then they began in the cold
And the Cubs beat Milwaukee, so some got so bold
As to say the team could maybe stay in first place
A few April losses put those folks in their place.

The Pirates came to Wrigley and the Cubs banged out
Twenty-one runs on the Bucs — my gosh, what a rout!
But after that the team dropped a whole bunch of games
To the White Sox and Dodgers — ‘twas really a shame

Christopher Morel homered the first time he was up
That provided some hope, that ball was well struck
Meanwhile, some wondered of the one called The Professor
Would the Cubs need to start looking for a successor?

Seiya Suzuki, of Japanese fame
Started hot in the USA, and some began to proclaim
That he’d be a star in MLB — then he hurt his finger
In a 20-5 loss to the Reds — let’s not linger

After that, on the field the Cubs’ luck did shatter,
When they went to New York there was something the matter
The Yankees shut them out, eight runs to none
The next day, New York scored 18 — man, that was no fun.

Then more losses, and losses, and losses still more
By the All-Star break 18 games under was the score
So trading was done again, just like in twenty-one
Though there weren’t quite as many stars who were done

First was Chris Martin, not the one from Coldplay
For Zach McKinstry he was sent off to L.A.
Next out: The sidearming righty named Scott Effross
Hayden Wesneski came in return — his efforts were boss

Mychal Givens to the Mets, a minor leaguer in return
And another one came to the Cubs for David Robertson
Contreras and Happ were supposedly on the trading block
But the deadline came and went and they did not walk.

The dust had just settled after the deadline of trades
Just who did poor Grandpa Rossy have left for aides?
A few guys ol’ Jed had picked up on waivers
It didn’t seem likely they’d be the Cubs’ saviors.

And at first that prophesy appeared to be true
Then something strange began for the boys in blue
They started winning, they swept the Phillies
Did that in Philly — a rare feat indeed.

And more wins came against Miami and Washington
Then the Cubs went to Iowa to play the Cincinnatians
Drew Smyly pitched well, the Cubs won the game of Dreams
A fine evening in the cornfields, more than just a meme

They kept on winning, this ragtag collection of Cubs
They beat playoff contenders, the O’s and Brew Crew
But even with losses in Toronto and St. Lou
Most were giving the second-half Cubs good reviews.

September is when the new Cubs began to shine, though
A sweep of the Mets in New York they did undergo
They beat Jake deGrom, a prodigious feat of renown
That sweep kept the Mets from an NL East crown

Then Hayden Wesneski, mentioned above
Took the mound and Cubs fans just fell in love
First he struck out eight in his major league beginning
And as if that weren’t enough, an immaculate inning

The Cubs finished the year winning twelve of fifteen
That gave many hope that ‘23 could bring wins unforeseen
To Willson Contreras, fans bade farewell
He had multiple sendoffs, we all wish him well*

As the offseason started, Jed Hoyer was panned
For what he termed his “intelligent spending” plan
But then Dansby Swanson was inked to a deal
Taillon and Bellinger too, that began to appeal.

Six years have passed since the World Series win
(“Better than 108,” I thought with a grin.)
It’s time for Jed Hoyer to realize what he’s leading
A team that can’t “rebuild” — not with fans all pleading

With Stroman and Steele on the mound, a good base has formed
Run prevention’s what they apparently want guys to learn
With solid up-the-middle defense, it just might work
The Cubs might just win — now, don’t go berserk

There is still time to sign guys who can hit base knocks
And also bring winning themes to Addison & Clark
Put together a winner, and please make it so soon
Get Hoerner and Happ signed. It won’t cost the moon.

Thus we enter ‘23 with Cubs baseball hope
They’ll gather in Mesa and that ain’t no joke.
David Ross and the guys will put up the good fight.
Happy Cub Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

* Except when the Cardinals play the Cubs!