clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Cub Tracks’ island of misfits

All the #Cubs, #MLB, and #MiLB news you can use, four days a week. Watch out for the Abominable!

 Stephen Petronio Dance Company performing at Royce Hall in UCLA. Pic. shows the ensemble in the dance The Island of Misfit Toys. Photo by Lawrence K. Ho/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images

Welcome to today’s edition of Cub Tracks news and notes™, a greatest-hits collection of Chicago-style beat writers and bloggers, ground from #Cubs, #MiLB, and #MLB baseball, overheated, steeped in writers’ tears, and then cold-brewed overnight for maximum flavor.

Bauers to the inevitable


You’re a fine one, Mr. Bauer

You have a naughty side

Your texts are full of garbage

And your eyes are full of lies...

Mr. Bauer

I wouldn’t touch you with a sixty-foot, six-inch pole....


I’m a big fan, Mr. Bauer

You’ve missed a couple games

Please hurry to your new address

And I will do the same...

Mr. Bauer

I love you like I love some chicken sushi...

Thanks for coming. The maitre d’hotel will be pleased to redistribute your coats. Please leave them at the door. We already have your car keys. Happy holidays. If you want to see me cover the theme from The Grinch, here it is, on Farcebook. I do a version very year.

* means autoplay on, or annoying ads, or both (directions to remove for Firefox and Chrome). {$} means paywall. {$} means limited views. Italics are often used on this page as sarcasm font. The powers that be have enabled sarcasm font in the comments.

Food for Thought:

Please be reminded that Cub Tracks and Bleed Cubbie Blue do not necessarily endorse the opinions of writers whose work is linked to in this series of articles. Thanks for reading, and Happy Holidays!